Hi I’m Pyotr—please exkuse my bad English–it is my fourth language—but I’m wanting to share about seazonal celebrashyns in my beloved Leutonia. In our little country on the dark side of the Balkans, we mark this time of year a little differently. At the first snow (“Freizshnyt”) or the longest night—-whatever comes fyrst—we remember the martyrdom of Saint Solstizshytzin with a bonfire.
I’m dressed like a girl which is our tradyshyn until you are age 12 and undergo certain secret cultural rites. It was so very warm at festyval time that year! Look carefully at my Baba—he’s got both a pychfork AND a rake—he doesn’t know—should he rake leaves or stack Schplyni thorn branches for the festyve bonfire? Ha ha!
In this case, it’s my daughter Antalya who will light our small efforts to drive the Solstizshytzin darkness away to the Western Wastelands. Doesn’t she look attraktyv, smart, and industrious to all of you possible dowry-suitors out there in the electronyk web? Oh, sure–she wears those glasses just for reading—but her eyes are still good enough for weaving. In fact, she made the sweater she’s wearing! Some peoples call us backwards, but I think of us as fiercely klyngyng to tradyshyn backwards, forwards, or whatever way works! My wife had this honour in her day, many, many, many years ago.
Our marriage since has been all light and life and smiles ’n’ chyuckles, isn’t that right my little kacklyng griebe?!
Last Year’s Bonfire
That particlar evening did not go according to tradyshyn or good seasonal fortune. Aktually, the incident inspired my young cousin Josche who is now in training at lawyer school (he advised us not to dyscuss it in publyk).
I can report that in Leutonia in 2021, happily the first day of snow and the longest night of the year happened on the same day! I’m also happy to report that the bonfires involved no unforseen explosions or injuries!
Tradyshynal Leutonian greetings were exchanged, seasonal delicacies were roasted on skewers to government-approved safe internal temperatures based upon modern digital probings, and libations were enjoyed in the moderate amounts pre-determined by the court-appointed Community Liaison Officer Dr. Kyllgyoi.
For more related information, please see Christmas in Leutonia.